Martha Stewart’s Bitch

By Dylan Comment

j_garner_martha_dog.jpgTranscript excerpt from Wednesday’s Martha:

At the top of the show, Jennifer Garner brought out her dog, named after Martha Stewart, to meet her namesake. Here are sound bites from the show:

Jennifer Garner: This is Martha Stewart Garner-Affleck … She’s your namesake, so she can do anything.

Martha Stewart: Can you tell us about Martha Stewart’s — the dog — new friend.

Jennifer Garner: Yep — we thought he was going to be a brother; his name is hutch. Instead, there’s more of an amorous relationship.

Martha Stewart: Really??

Jennifer Garner: Yes, it turns out Martha can’t get enough. Martha Stewart has a very healthy sex life.

Martha Stewart: For heaven sake! Look where they’re living! They’re living with sex symbols.

Jennifer Garner: Goodness gracious! Do you have to go there? We’re making cupcakes!

OK, try reading again, this time without the uncontrollable seizure.