To look at Washington D.C. publications today, you’d think tonight’s State of the Union was the Shit of the Union. You’d also think it was already Wednesday considering the way Debbie Downer news outlets are trashing it before it even happens.
“Expect to Hear an Absolutely Forgettable State of the Union Speech” blares a headline from National Journal. George Condon writes, “When President Obama takes to the speaker’s rostrum on the floor of the House of Representatives Tuesday evening, you can expect him to speak for more than an hour. But don’t bet on him saying anything you’ll remember a month later.” He continues, “Don’t blame the speechwriters, though. Blame the occasion.” Party at Jayson Blair’s house? Newsbusters Tim Graham reports that NYT‘s persona non grata Jayson Blair (who left the publication in a haze of plagiarism a decade ago) is hosting a SOTU watch party tonight in Centreville, Va. They say he now works as (no joke) a life coach. And Politico‘s Patrick Gavin just cobbled together “10 SOTU Gripes Hours Before the Speech.” They include third-tier Boybander, Slate‘s Matt Yglesias, already saying “the speech doesn’t accomplish anything.” USA Today, meanwhile, looks at six State of the Union addresses they believe made a lick of difference in American life. Three occurred in the 1800s. The last one they think mattered happened in 2002. It was former President George W. Bush‘s “Axis of Evil” speech. And if this tells you anything, The Daily Caller‘s only story on tonight’s SOTU address is a drinking game they posted at 2:25 a.m. this morning. A sampling: 1. “If Obama says ‘Let me be clear,’ take a shot of vodka or translucent alcohol of your choice.” 2. What’s SOTU without a joke about House Speaker John Boehner‘s orange-hued tan? “If Speaker of the House John Boehner’s complexion looks particularly orange, pour a screw driver.”
Where’s MSNBC resident loudmouth Chris Matthews and CNN wax figure contributor David Gergen when we need them to blather on? It’s just after noon. The speech happens in nine hours. Don’t they have thoughts on the SOTU 2013?