Greg Gutfeld, host of Fox News’ “Red Eye” and co-host of “The Five,” took time off last week to care for his ailing mother, who he said on Twitter had recently undergone surgery.
Nobody knew what would transpire was a long Twitter fight and flight back to New York City with Oliver Willis, a fellow at the liberal Media Matters for America.
After Sen. John McCain‘s (R-Ariz.) appearance on Sunday’s “Meet the Press,” in which he discussed the attack on a U.S. consulate in Libya, Willis sent out a series of sarcastic tweets about it. “Mr. President, on the morning of the attack, which aftershave did you use? Please name a specific brand,” said one tweet. “Mr. Vice President, the daily briefing says you had oatmeal that morning but you later told an aide you had cereal,” said another.
Gutfeld saw the tweets and pounced. “Hey Willis, do u have any knee-slapping tweets about Sandy Hook, you bumbling, irrelevant gasbag?” he asked.
Given that Media Matters’ sole purpose is to criticize Fox News and Fox News has long-since used the criticism as TV fodder, it’s only natural that a battle between Gutfeld and Willis ensued.
Willis: “I see I upset Gutfeld, who apparently never got over being pantsed on the playground by some liberal.”
Gutfeld: “Hey Willis, as a Media Matters fellow does your commute consist of fridge to bedroom, then bedroom to commode?” Gutfeld also accused Willis of mocking the deaths of the Americans in the attack.
Willis: “No Gutfeld,the mocking of American deaths comes from you and your channel who tried to ride those deaths to a Mitt Romney win. Whoops.”
Gutfeld: “God I hope Willis gets a promotion to ‘senior’ fellow. That means he gets free WiFi in his stuffy bedsit.”
Willis: “Gutfeld’s insults are as insightful as Gallagher sans watermelons.”
Gutfeld: “What’s the difference between Willis and a boiler? One generates heat in a basement, and the other warms schools and factories.”
Willis: “If only someone hadn’t pantsed Gutfeld on the playground, the world would have one less attention-starved troll. Oh well.”
Eric Boehlert, an actual senior fellow at Media Matters, jumped into the fray. “Ha. Failed [Maxim] editor
@greggutfeld is feeling tough tonight,” Boehlert tweeted. “It’s adorable. Check out his timeline.”
Gutfeld: “Fun fact, Boehlert used to tweet me constantly waiting for a response. Then he’d skulk off. You sense he’s alone and sweaty.”
And on and on it went. Gutfeld called Willis a “lost soul in a modern age.” Willis replied, “Your hate makes me stronger.”
Finally, Gutfeld called it quits. He said “flying with Twitter is better than drinking” but acknowledged that he was, in fact, drinking during the flight. Roughly six hours after the fight began he said he had landed and that Jackie, his mother, was “coming along slowly.”
A last word came the next day from Willis: “Media Matters doesn’t matter, I don’t matter, but spend four straight hours tweeting about it. Okay, whatever.”