How many other times in recent history have cable news networks utilized cheesy countdown clocks to signify impending doom? If one were to crawl out from under a rock and turn on CNN for the latest headlines, one would encounter the dubious timepieces are counting down to the debt ceiling (which, by the way, the majority of Americans don’t understand or care to) or counting up to how many days, hours, minutes, and yes, even seconds that a lucky 17 percent of federal employees have been “Out of the Office.”
Shouldn’t countdown clocks be reserved for things like asteroids and viral plagues?
Do we really need to know we’re 200 hours away from our government’s utter failure to fund itself?
Note to the cable elves, unless you’re friggin’ Santa Claus and you’re counting down the days until you deliver my Snoopy Snow Cone Machine, or you’re some crazed-cranked crime connoisseur, counting down the hours to Walter White’s smoking season finale, stick with more stories on Miley Cyrus, her nasty nude bodysuit, and her weird butt grinding compulsion and quit the clocks for once and all.
(Or at least until Tropical Storm Tammy twerks her way to town).