Topless Anchor Needed To Read Teleprompter

gelfphoto.jpgThe guys (they’re all guys) at Topless Sports News are hoping to expand their empire into entertainment news. They’re looking for a movie reviewer with good reading skills and a nice rack — in that order.

Having begun in 2005 as a kind of “Sports Night read by topless women,” Topless Sports News realized the pitfalls of working with the Young and the Witless.

“It’s hard to find a woman who can read and is willing to take her top off,” said head sports writer/comedian Scott Schultz. “We do a financial segment at the start of each show, and we brought in talent who couldn’t read the word ‘Dow.’ It’s frustrating.”

So the producers decided that this go-around they’d be willing to sacrifice a little pulchritude for a woman who could, say, read the word “pulchritude,” off a teleprompter.

Schultz, whose background includes comedy writing and sports editing at CBS Sportsline, says it’s a challenge to write punchlines for women who can jiggle but can’t deliver a giggle.

“We finally came up with a solution where we’d shout out the correct pronunciation,” Schultz said. “It was funny at first. But then we’d have to do it about 40 times in a 20-minute shoot. We’d be talking as much as them.”

We can’t wait to hear what their anchors do with Pan’s Labyrinth.

More information here.