Shine On, Vincent Gallo. Shine On.

0914gallo.jpgCan someone get Vincent Gallo a big bucket of Xanax, stat? The New York Post just reprinted a rant Gallo sent to Post critic Frank Scheck.

Scheck had the nerve to suggest that Gallo might have used a prosethetic dick for his Chloe Sevigny-supplied b.j. in The Brown Bunny. Gallo then wrote the following to the Post:

Tell that hack to convince his mother, sister or wife to let me give it to her… and then she can report back to little Frank if she thought [it was fake. ‘The Brown Bunny’ is an ultra-low-budget film. With that in mind, the expense to create a prosthetic that could pass on film would be well out of the film’s budget, and so far no one has come close to making such a thing pass as real… For example, Mark Wahlberg‘s rubber [organ in ‘Boogie Nights’] was far from realistic and was only seen for a few seconds. If one wasn’t blinded by jealousy, it would be easy to tell [my] scene was real. Chloe Sevigny herself has publicly said the scene involved us performing real sex. Why then does Scheck promote doubt about the scene’s authentic nature? I speculate it’s because Mr. Scheck most likely has a very small, ugly penis and needs to believe that only in make-believe does anyone have one like mine!

If nothing else, Gallo knows how to make his way into Page Six. Still though, it’s comforting Gallo can still do a good rant once or twice a year. Helps prove that, indeed, God has a sense of humor.