Sam’s Club Is First Retailer to Adopt ‘Safer’ Credit Card

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Someone in the retail industry has finally made the decision to start catching up with the rest of the world.

Sam’s Club–provider of gallon-sized mayonnaise jars, 64-count TP packs and enough toothpicks to build all four major New York City bridges–became the first big retail name to announce the adoption of a “safer” credit card for regular customers.

Maybe they wanted to skip ahead of the competition–or maybe they were inspired by eBay’s friendly suggestion that all shoppers might want to change their damn passwords after its massive data breach.

As most reports on the Target and eBay breaches noted, European credit companies have been using the “special chip” EMV cards for some time. These cards lack the magnetic strips that apparently make our own data so easy to steal.

After its breach, Target quickly announced plans to switch over to the “new” cards for regulars, but Sam’s parent company Walmart started the transition nearly eight years ago. Call it premonition, but that fact does address the most obvious question following the Target breach: why do all U.S. retailers and credit card companies have such inefficient security systems?

The answer: because they can.

No longer. It’s true that this change will only apply to cards owned by Sam’s members, so it’s not quite a solution to the larger problem. Yet a move that should have been a no-duh business decision turns into a PR win by allowing the Sam’s spokesperson to tell The New York Times:

“The Sam’s Club MasterCard has been in the works since before the Target breach.”

That hurt. It’s not all sunshine, though: expect more anonymous, privacy-sensitive commentors to pull back the curtain and reveal these suspicious “chips” as the latest step in the New World Order’s plans to track every American’s condiment consumption from birth to death.

False flags, etc.