9:01PM EST: Regardless of how well the show does, Bravo has to be giddy with all of the hype. Hate to break it to ya, Posties, but your defiance has actually made more people want to watch. A study in pre-hype.
9:04PM EST:Daily News reporter Kerry Burke chases a story about Robert De Niro‘s maid, taking him to Queens. Is this what they mean when they say “gumshoe” reporting?
9:05PM EST:George Rush of Rush & Molloy makes first “stepping on the genitalia” comment of New York’s power set.
9:10PM EST:George Rush controls his carpal-tunnel with a black wrist-brace. That or he rollerblades in the office.
9:12PM EST:George Rush talks to Victoria Gotti, calls it a story.
9:19PM EST:Hud Morgan sighting.
9:20PM EST: Possible racially-charged beating in Howard Beach. Burke is investigating. This is television show equivalent of “killing the buzz.”
9:30PM EST: Rush & Molloy’s kid shows up in the office. For all the times you thought R&M was written by a 7-year-old at last, empirical proof.
9:35PM EST: The reporters seem genuinely disappointed a hate crime doesn’t appear to have been committed.
9:40PM EST: Disappointment turns to measured giddiness as the crime may be hate-related. This is another vortex.
9:45PM EST: Crazy guy shows up outside Christian Slater Broadway show while Daily News reporter waits to interview audience about Slater’s alleged butt-grabbing incident, yelling about how Rupert Murdoch is responsible for War in Iraq. Bravo editors decide to include.
9:47PM EST: Calling good quotes “money” is definitely a newspaper thing.
9:50PM EST: Reporters return to hoping against hope the Howard Beach incident is a hate crime. Analagous to rooting against a horse in the Belmont. It’s a f*cking horse.
9:57PM EST: Turns out it was a race crime. Mayor Bloomberg says it was. Print it. Burke answers angry readers’ phone calls.
9:59PM EST: Only one Hud Morgan sighting in the whole f$%&ing hour? We should get our money back.