Well, in the fictional world drawn for us by comedians Travis Harmon and Jonathan Shockley in their upcoming fictional humor book Let There Be Facebook: Status Updates From God, Gaga, And Everyone In Between, famous faces from the past used Facebook, and their news feeds have been excavated.
The 140-some pages are filled with laugh-out-loud dialogues between some of the biggest wigs from the history books, complete with hysterical mock headshots of the historical characters.
For instance, one such dialogue, entitled “Beethoven,” reads as follows:
Archduke Rudolph: YOUR FIFTH SYMPHONY IS AMAZING!
Beethoven: Caps lock is on, friend.
Prince Kinsky: BEETHOVEN! BEETHOVEN! HEY! HEEEEEEY!
Beethoven: Yes! What?
Prince Kinsky: Love the Ninth!
Beethoven: No need for all caps, bud.
Prince Lobkowitz: HEY, MAN! DUN-DUN-DUN DUHHHHHH! YEAH!
Beethoven: Why are you shouting at me?
Prince Lobkowitz: AREN’T YOU DEAF?
Beethoven: I’M DEAF BUT I CAN READ
If this kind of slapstick silliness appeals, you’ll also enjoy the fleshed out profile of Elvis (whose listed occupation is King), the “discovered” Facebook chat between Monica Lewinski and Bill Clinton, Cleopatra Queen of Egypt’s contrived Facebook wall, and a fake news feeds filled with historical likes such as “Sailors like kissing nurses.”
So, if you’re looking for comic relief, and a fun way to bone up on historical figures and what you thought you knew of them, heed the advice from the authors in the introduction:
Forget everything you knew about history. Throw away those cave wall paintings. Toss out those ancient songs and elaborate dance traditions. Shred those yellow documents rescued from monasteries…..This book is all the history you need.
Look for the book to hit bookshelves November 8, published by Touchstone. You’ll find it in the humor section.