Dear magazine editors who may be affected by our soon-to-be-recurring bad magazine cover post: we want you to understand that we’re doing this for your own good. Because we care about you. And we want you to do your best. And, uh… (Pssst. Christian! What was that other meaningless platitude we were supposed to insert? Oh, right.)
And it hurts us more than it hurts you. Or whatever.
With that, we give you painful magazine covers:
· Paris Hilton on this month’s cover of Jane. Sacrilege! We hear the staffers aren’t too happy about that one. But what Jane Pratt wants, Jane Pratt gets.
· Star magazine’s celebrity weddings issue with its nearly all-white cover. We don’t want to condone Bonnie Fuller’s historical overuse of fuschia in magazine design, but we’ll acknowledge that it serves a purposenamely, making the mag distinguishable from everything else on the newsstand. The headline on the spare, white cover: “Here come the brides!” And there go the readers!
· The new Harper’s edition US Weekly (above left). (But we kid. We’re just happy that Andrew Hearst has a blog now so we don’t have to photoshop any more magazine covers ourselves. And we’re inclined to agree with his Esquire cover theory.)