Colbert Asks, ‘Please Join Me In Condemning David Gregory’

David Gregory, perhaps the closest thing the White House press corps has to one of Stephen Colbert‘s much-feared bears (and we mean in the nicest possible way), ventured onto the Colbert Report last night. Colbert opened strong (“What is your agenda? To make Scott McClellan cry?”) and then the conversation ranged from Gregory’s hair to the cramped “Hellhole” of a White House press briefing room to the cancellation of “The West Wing” (“West Wing was basically just John Kerry fan fiction, wasn’t it?”).

Gregory on the briefing room seats: “Those seats in the White House, it’s hard to sit there. It’s like getting into a Geo Metro. It’s hard at my size. I look sometimes that I’m slumped over, and I want people to know I’m not. I don’t want to convey disrespect.”

Some other choice exchanges:

C: “You are what we in the Truth World call, ‘the filter.'”

G: “I don’t think of myself as a filter. I feel like I provide context for the viewer.

C: “You’re a flavor, a spice. The soup just flows by you. You sprinkle your herbs on top.”

G: “I think I bring out the best in Bush.”

C: You bring out the flavor.

The Press Room:

C: Let’s talk about the press room for a minute. I’ve been there. It’s a hell hole…. It’s really cramped. You have to share a tiny desk. You’re just stacked up there: You and Helen Thomas, Claire Shipman, Major Garrett. Do people ever confuse you two, you and Major Garrett? You’re both tall, salt and pepper hair thing.

G: (quickly) No.

C: Sore subject?

G: No.

C: Was that naturally salt and pepper, or did you do that after Anderson Cooper?

G: Believe me. It’s all real.