Buttry’s Commute Home (The Abridged Version)

There’s only one Buttry in this town and that would be TBD‘s Community Engagement Director Steve Buttry who never fails to provide for material we think is a) amusingly horrifying b) engaging (see his title) and c) See a and b.

Today he brings us the story of his long ever so slightly strange trip home last night. It was sort of like Ulysses‘s trip home that led him through the Trojan War. That took 10 years. Like most stories involving Buttry, there’s always a painfully human element to it, like a family member falls ill or, in this case, someone really has to go to the bathroom. This was no exception. Here’s what we learned:

1. He desperately had to use the bathroom throughout the voyage. That’s nine hours — no bathroom.

2. He’s grateful that he fared better than the hundreds of other souls stuck in cars who experienced far worse. He spent at least part of the trip counting up those cars.

3. He sometimes has the unfortunate experience of hanging out in Ballston.

4. He wasn’t even working Wednesday. He had the day off.

5. His son ended up in the emergency room on Wednesday. He was released. They needed to pick up meds for him.

6. Nice suckup to TBD mid-story with a mention of the TBD mobile app that he used to help him figure out where he was going. Editor Erik Wemple must have given him Tootsie Rolls for that one. Or at least mentioned it to Mojo. Seriously, Buttry, this was when you started to “chart your progress?”

7. Wife, Mimi, spots snowman and dead raccoon — both of which are memorialized in Twitter photographs.

8. Buttry is trying really hard to not think of the nine hours he’s enduring without relieving himself. And then a fellow tweeter has to go and mention a coke bottle.

Read the story here.