ABC Searches for Average Jane

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Even as Tucker Carlson is trippin’, ABC is master-minding the fourth season of Dancing With The Stars.

In sort of a Biggest Loser meets Stars sashay, the network wants an Average Jane who’s a little plump but up for shedding some extra pounds, learning to cha-cha and humiliating herself on network television.

The Average Jane (age 24 to 36, size 10 to 14) will go through the same practice sessions that the semi-famous celebs go through, plus letting a camera crew trail around after her as she slims down and cracks up.

At least she won’t have to dance with Jerry Springer. FBLA hopes Jane turns out to be a great dancer, eats like a starving hyena, gains a ton of weight, and wins the whole thing.