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Of all the dumb statistics that are dragged out so often they become part of pop-culture folklore, none is dumber than the one about how many commercial messages Americans are exposed to every day.

First of all, everybody has a different number (kind of like account billing figures); it’s impossible to tell which to believe. And second, it’s impossible to measure anyway because it can’t be precisely defined.

What’s a commercial message? The spot I just saw on TV? The logo on the truck that just rumbled past? How about those ridiculous postcards they give away in restaurants with young Hollywood actor types pouting over a picture of an obscure Polish vodka? Does that count toward my daily ad intake or not?

And if it does, how the hell does anyone know I’ve seen it? Is there a shadow force of creepy losers out there, an army of marketing zombies...





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