Mr. TV: The Big Schlep

Yeah, I did it again. I swore I never would, but there I was, alone in my car driving from New York to Florida and back. This time I chose to drive all night and I made it each way in just under, gulp, 23 hours. One word of advice to anyone who might be considering the drive: Don’t. But if you do, unless you are in desperate need of dusty fireworks or condoms of dubious origin and quality, don’t stop at tourist trap South of the Border between North Carolina and South Carolina.To help pass the time, I did what I always do: muse about TV. What immediately came to mind was Fox’s American Idol, which I still watch religiously despite how pissed off it makes me. The good news this season is anyone can go the distance—the playing field is more equal than I have ever seen. But what gets under my skin is rocker Adam Lambert, who should not be competing because he has already performed on stage in the Los Angeles production of musical Wicked. That makes him a professional, doesn’t it? (He’s not the first, either.) And while I think Kara DioGuardi actually has something to add as the fourth judge, I still do not understand how glassy-eyed Paula Abdul manages to keep her job. Other than copy what the judge before her says, she is nothing more than an overzealous cheerleader. If another Paula scandal erupts, I wonder if Kara will be upped to the No. 3 spot. Hmmm …The next show I pondered as the miles rolled by was CBS’ The Big Bang Theory, to which my inner nerd can relate. Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper is the best TV geek since Jaleel White as Steve Urkel. But, unlike the soft and gooey Family Matters, Big Bang is a show worth watching. My only complaint, though, is that it competes directly with ABC’s Dancing With the Stars (which is really lacking in star power this season). Since I like to watch my TV live, that means Tom Bergeron and Co. will have to wait until 8:30 p.m. I simply can’t abandon The Big Bang Theory.Nor will I bolt from ABC’s Brothers & Sisters, which is finally showcasing knockout Patricia Wettig as evil Holly; CBS’ Survivor, which remains amazingly fresh; or TV Land’s addictive High School Reunion, which manages to successfully put the people we all remember—the jock, the nerd, the snob and the bully, etc.—under one roof and in one show. If they did a season of High School Reunion with your school, what label would you be?Naturally, I would be “Mr. TV” because all I ever thought of in those more innocent days was how I was going to run a network. Back in high school, the shows I watched included Eight is Enough, The Waltons, Dallas, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Alice, Three’s Company, Charlie’s Angels and most Norman Lear comedies. If I tuned into The Love Boat, that meant I was home on a Saturday night without a date. Sadly, I saw almost every episode!By the time I met my future wife in the late 1980s, Dallas was still on, Saturday nights featured NBC’s The Golden Girls, buzz was growing at the water-cooler about St. Elsewhere, and I was actually living my life in tandem with thirtysomething. Too bad thirtysomething didn’t age along with me. I could certainly use some guidance on how to cope with my current problems.As I made my way from Florida through to Maryland, I had forgotten how quickly Delaware comes and goes. That got me thinking about some of the short-lived TV gems that deserved a longer shelf life. Remember sitcoms The Hot L Baltimore (which Norman Lear actually told me was the favorite of all his shows) and All is Forgiven? Or dramas Apple’s Way, A Year in the Life, Call to Glory, and Get Real? They were all undeservedly cut short after less than a year. Driving up I-95 through New Jersey is always frustrating because you are exhausted by then and the miles between exits all seem interminable. At that point I wanted to stop off at The Bada Bing for a visit with Tony and his Sopranos crew. As I always say about HBO shows, they end way too quickly. Too bad my trip didn’t.Last stop, of course, was New York, the hometown of countless series including I Love Lucy, All in the Family, Barney Miller, Maude, The Jeffersons, Night Court, The Cosby Show, Cagney & Lacey, Friends, Seinfeld, Mad About You, NYPD Blue, Everybody Loves Raymond and all of the Law & Orders. So if you have to make that endless trek on I-95, think about TV. It will get you through. Do you agree or disagree with Mr. TV? Please e-mail mberman@mediaweek.com and let him know if you would like your response published in an upcoming issue.

Convergent TV

Mr. TV: The Big Schlep

Marc Berman

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Marc Berman