Freak Week: Unnatural Selection

Will the real Vince Shlomi please stand up? The hyperactive infomercial pitchman, who rocketed to fame shilling the ShamWow and the Slap Chop, crashed back to earth just as quickly last year when a more unsavory offscreen persona presented itself -- he was arrested for trading punches with a prostitute. The charges were dropped, but Shlomi's career (not to mention his face) took a hit. Now, none other than Eminem has given Shlomi a second chance, recruiting him to do a Slap Chop parody infomercial for the rapper's new album, Recovery. Judging by his lyrics, Eminem knows a thing or two about violence against women, so perhaps it's a logical partnership. The spot itself isn't mind-blowingly great. Shlomi, in his trademark high-pitched, super-fast babble, demonstrates various uses for the new CD, most of which involve snipping it in two and using the pieces to chop fruit and veggies. (Notably, the ad doesn't suggest you actually listen to the thing.) But it's nice to see Shlomi is still alive, and that at least his cuts and bruises have healed.Speaking of people who didn't fully evolve, ad agency Trigger last week unveiled a campaign portraying visitors to the Calgary Zoo as prehistoric humans. This wasn't meant disparagingly, but as an exhortation to visit a new "Dinosaurs Alive!" exhibit. Setting aside the inconvenient fact that humans and dinosaurs did not, in fact, coexist on earth, the ads' Neanderthals are amusingly Photoshopped, if not overly flattering to the target market.Grotesque medical experiments are not a frequent subject in food advertising. But Mars Inc. is throwing caution to the wind and presenting its new Pretzel M&Ms as the result of just such morally dubious activities. One TV commercial from BBDO that we posted last week shows the Orange M&M, who is frankly horrified, awaiting a painful-sounding procedure in a lab that will inject a "giant pretzel" inside his person. The medical theme extends to the product packaging, which shows Orange holding X-ray panels of himself that reveal the pretzel lurking in his innards. Speaking to Brandweek, a Mars rep admitted the whole situation was making Orange "extremely anxious and neurotic," and that this was "really funny." Sadism aside, the Pretzel M&Ms represent one of the biggest new-product launches for the candy brand in a decade, and are part of a larger push by Mars into "sweet and savory" offerings.Finally, we uncovered a worthy successor to Paris Hilton's car-wash spot for Carl's Jr. last week -- an ad for Russian airline Avianova showing a bunch of women in bikinis hand-washing one of the discount carrier's planes. The ad is amusing in its unabashedly straightforward appeal to men, though some viewers were unimpressed. One reader wrote on AdFreak's Facebook page: "Wow, the Russians are really behind us in terms of advertising. The Swedish Bikini Team for Old Milwaukee was way back in 1991. No wonder the Soviets lost the Cold War."Best of BrandFreak: Spike Lee Stumps for AbsolutOn Seinfeld years ago, a man looked across the East River and told his son: "That's Brooklyn. Spike Lee lives there." It's hard to think of anyone more associated with that borough. Now, as AdFreak's sister blog reported last week, Lee is giving Absolut vodka a bit of that street cred with Absolut Brooklyn, a limited-edition product flavored with apple and ginger (just like Brooklyn!). Lee designed the bottle and directed a short film that features white rapper/spoken-word dude Lemon Andersen singing Brooklyn's praises. "Those stoops where our legends are made/Stickball, front-page, Wiffle-ball played," Lemon raps as shots of beautifully expensive real estate go by. If you can afford a nice place in Park Slope, then the $30 bottle is probably no big deal, either.

Brand Marketing

Freak Week: Unnatural Selection

Tim Nudd

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Tim Nudd