This post on LinkedIn, “You’re Not My Friend,” caught our eye. Adam Grant distinguishes the overuse of the word “friend” and in turn, we’re moved to share some of his compelling content.
1. You’ve actually met in person. Grant says in his piece if you’ve only connected with someone on the phone or over email, it’s not the same thing as interacting in person. There’s “no substitute for the trust that can be developed from meeting face-to-face.”
2. You know embarrassing things about each other that don’t show up in a Google search. He mentions self-disclosure and making yourself vulnerable are strong drivers of close relationships, knowing quirky things about the other person and vice versa.
3. You can call each other without scheduling a conversation. Amen! “Unless the person in question is a head of state, if you have to get an appointment on someone’s calendar to talk, you haven’t cleared the friendship bar.”
4. You never discuss the weather. You’ve never had to shoot the breeze with a friend like on a job interview, right?
He writes in the piece, “Friends don’t bother with small talk. They can go months without talking, and pick up as if they’ve never skipped a beat. They dive right into deep conversations about love, life, and that exasperating conclusion of Lost where nothing was resolved.”
5. You’ve had meaningful experiences together. Friendships evolve and also involve activities and building memories. That’s why he says if you’ve “never gone to a movie or shopping together, played a sport or game together, attended a party together, or decorated someone’s car with shaving cream together, you’re probably not friends.”