Laura Ingraham's Drunken, Belching Train Ride

Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham had quite a ride on Amtrak Wednesday night, so much so that she began referring to the train company as Slamtrak. Drunken crass men. Belching. F-bombs. Dead deer. What more could you want? We start off with Ingraham noticing her fellow passengers at 10:57 p.m. "How abt when u r on a train this late at night and a grp of 40-something men start loudly bragging abt alcohol intake & dropping f-bombs?" By 11:08 p.m. it suddenly became a War on Women: "All are slurring their words...wearing baseball caps backwards, tshirts, oblivious to women in the car, shouting to each other. Show prep!" At 11:38 p.m. she begins to move through the seven stages of grief, one being, anger, another bargaining: 1. "Now they are talking loudly & passionately abt tacos. More interesting convos in son's pre-school class!" 2. "Am tempted to try to buy their silence with a few tasty Slamtrak pepperoni pizzas. Oh& the Cafe Car is STILL serving them beer. RUI." At 11:42 p.m. she attempts to boost the IQ's of her new drunken male friends: "Conductor finally came in and told this Mensa meeting to tone down language and volume." And then she gets a sense of humor: "To top it all off, one of them who looks like Belushi in Animal House has a cell phone w/ a police siren ring that keeps going off." At 11:51 p.m. things seem to take a wildly unexpected turn that redirects her attentions, which, undoubtedly, a dead animal can do. "And Slamtrak has announced that we just hit a deer. Road kill burgers for the loaded louts." By 12:03 a.m. there's a light at the end of the tunnel: "The Baltimorons just got off the train. Of course they left their trash behind, grousing abt the 'f---s' in the car." Thank God Ingraham had the good sense to take the above picture so we could have a visual. She wrote, "The Baltimorons after innumerable Bud-Lights, hours of foul-language, and in the midst of an ear-splitting belching competition." Moral of the Story: When all else fails, wish dead deer burgers on your fellow Amtrak passengers and, above all, don't forget to snap a photograph.

Fishbowl

Laura Ingraham's Drunken, Belching Train Ride

Betsy Rothstein

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Betsy Rothstein