On May 1 political Washington will convene for the biggest, flashiest event of the year: the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
Arranging seating charts can’t be an easy task. So we’ve put together some of the most awkward, hazardous seating options so everyone can be on the lookout. Granted, not everyone we’ve placed here will necessarily have a ticket to the hot event. But then again, you never can tell… (Above are: BFF’s – Politico’s Mike Allen and NYT’s Mark Leibovich.)
MSNBC: President Phil Griffin and hosts Keith Olbermann and Donny Deutsch. (Deutsch was canned last week for putting Olbermann in a segment called “America the Angry.”) Former Host David Shuster, who recently disappeared from MSNBC after he applied to CNN, should sit there as well.
ABC: Jake Tapper and soon-to-be ‘This Week’ Host Christiane Amanpour. We’re sure they’d both be more than cordial. But awkward? Indeed.
CNN: Larry King and Pamela Anderson. King recently had Anderson on the show and pressed her on whether she’d date her “Dancing With the Stars” partner Damian Whitewood if he wasn’t already seeing someone. It’s a highly awkward pairing all in all, with a suspender-clad King with his slicked by hairdo and Anderson, with, of course, her gazongas. Where else is King supposed to look? “You’re a seductive, sexy person,” King recently told her.
FNC: Brit Hume and Tiger Woods (they can chat about Buddhism). Also…Bill O’Reilly and Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.). (In March, Frank went on O’Reilly’s show. O’Reilly called him a “coward”. To which Frank replied, “Bill, here’s the problem with going on your show. You start ranting. And the only way to respond is almost to look as boorish as you.”)
CBS: CBS News anchor Katie Couric and former Alaska Gov. and FNC Contributor Sarah Palin. Topics they could discuss: newspapers they read, and SNL Host Tina Fey should show up and say hello.
Washington Examiner: Reporter Tara Palmeri and actor Sean Penn. (Palmeri got thrown out of a Haiti-themed event last month when she posed a question to the actor based on a comment he had made saying that he wished rectal cancer on his enemies.) Topics they could discuss: rectal cancer, temper issues, press conference etiquette and more…
WaPo: Sally Quinn and the various reporters at the paper who badmouthed her column that was recently cut.
The Hill: Editor-in-Chief Hugo Gurdon and Kim Hart (the Hillicon Valley blogger who just left The Hill for Politico). Let’s throw in Politico’s Executive Editor Jim VandeHei for good measure. New boss, old boss kind of situation.
The Daily Caller: Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson and Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart (Some may remember back in the day when Carlson hosted CNN’s “Crossfire” when Stewart came on the show and called him a d–k.) Here’s the exchange between Carlson and Stewart. Carlson: “I do think you’re more fun on your show.” Stewart: “You’re as big a d–k on your show as you are on any show.”
Roll Call: Reporter Shira Toeplitz and Editor Charlie Mitchell. Toeplitz is the first member of Roll Call’s editorial staff to leave the publication for Politico, where she starts next month. Let’s throw in Politico’s Executive Editor Jim VandeHei for good measure. Everyone should get acquainted. In case anyone’s confused, VandeHei is now table hopping and will soon join his bosom buddy, O’Reilly.
NJ: NJ’s top-tiered editors, reporters and recently canned magazine columnists as they figure out who is expendable in the upcoming reorganization. For prime discomfort, the two members of the task force (who helped decide that the publication needs to make changes and lose eight members of the editorial staff) should be seated with the rest. The third, Shane Harris, now works at Washingtonian.
HuffPost: Editor-in-Chief Arianna Huffington and WaPo columnist George Will, both of whom are regulars on the ABC “This Week” roundtable. Could Will glare at Huffington more? The pair disagrees on pretty much everything under the sun. Could they make it through dinner without a food fight?
Politico: Mike Allen and NYT‘s Mark Leibovich, who just wrote an 11-page profile on the scribe that has made Allen the talk of the town in good, bad and weird ways. Topics they could discuss: Allen’s hoarding problem, where he lives, and what his father did for a living.
Roundtable from hell: ABC’s Jake Tapper and Christiane Amanpour along with
Arianna Huffington and George Will.
Note to readers: Yes, we’ve photo-shopped the faces and placed them on the bodies of dinner party guests (A major shout-out to MS for your talent.).
See more awkward pairings after the jump…
You Betcha: Former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin and CBS’s Katie Couric
A table made for warfare. (From L to R): Donny Deutsch and Keith Olbermann
sitting with Brit Hume and Tiger Woods as well as Bill O’Reilly and Rep. Barney Frank.
Clash of the dinner guests:CNN’s Larry King and Pamela Anderson along
with Sean Penn and Washington Examiner’s Tara Palmeri.