This Week In Pool Reports

You get a double dose of pool reports this week due to the holiday weekend. In this episode, VP gets a bear hug (awwww), James Gerstenzang hates detail and POTUS gets to play a game of Lets Pretend To Cross The Border.

  • “The VP delivers a speech full of menacing descriptions of America’s terrorist foes and a pledge from the president to provide the new cadets with all they need to fight the war on terror. ‘You soldier for him and he will soldier for you.’ (see transcript) The 22-minute speech, delivered in deep Cheney monotone, is punctuated by occasional applause. Cheney then hands diplomas to select graduates, who file up to the stage and crisply salute the VP before shaking his hand and receiving their scrolls. (One large young man gives the VP a bear hug, after apparently asking Cheney permission).” — Noam Levey, Los Angeles Times

  • “AF1 did a vertical takeoff (or it felt like one) from Andrews, where the Air Force was practicing for their show this weekend. The combat vibe was shortly undone by the appearance of very jaunty fruit smoothies garnished with pineapple in the press cabin (apologies to Gerstenzang, who loathes this kind of detail).” — Julie Mason, Houston Chronicle

  • “After a short motorcade, POTUS arrived at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center, situated on 1,500 acres in southeast Georgia with modern facilities to simulate various scenarios for future officers. POTUS took a look at an outdoor land crossing, with three lanes for vehicles and three booths emblazoned, ‘Welcome to the United States.’ POTUS was accompanied to the faux crossing by the two Cabinet secretaries, the two senators and Connie Patrick, director of the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center. (Chertoff and Martinez evidently got the uniform memo, because each appeared to wear identical dark blue suits, pale blue shirts and yellow ties; POTUS was the only one in red tie.)” — Peter Baker, Washington Post

  • “After a uniformed officer showed POTUS around the fake border crossing, outside your pool’s ear range, he was taken inside the building to a fake airport passport control station, complete with six lanes, computers and uniformed officers. POTUS was given fake documents to hand to the man in uniform, who greeted him with a jaunty, ‘Welcome to the United States, sir.’ The officer then appeared to question the president about who he was, why he was coming into the country, where he had visited before landing here and why he has such a funny name. Your pool couldn’t hear the questions or answers, but hopes POTUS didn’t let on that he lives on the public dole and occupies public housing. The agent dutifully took POTUS’s fingerprint and his photograph. POTUS evidently passed any instant check because the officer then stamped his fake documents and allowed him in. POTUS, more grateful than most, then shook the officer’s hand and posed for pictures with him and a partner. He then posed for pictures with others as the pool was led back to the vans to wait for him to complete the tour. The motorcade took just a couple minutes to reach the speech site.” — Baker

  • “Two other programming notes: If you see Pete Seat today, wish him a happy birthday. But don’t ask his age. It’ll only depress you.” — Baker