Reporter Has Wine-Fueled Toilet Adventure

Odd choice for a Friday night, but a functional toilet isn’t something you can just do without. CQ Roll Call‘s Neda Semnani kicked off the weekend by repairing hers.

“The toilet’s been running for months. Its just old or/or maybe poor quality,” she told FishbowlDC in an email. “I didn’t want to pay for a plumber unless I had to, so I went to the hardware store and got a kit and I followed the instructions.”

Semnani tweeted just after 9 p.m. that she was going to get wine and set out on her toilet adventure. Forty-five minutes later she returned and tweeted a photo of her tools, along with Huckleberry, her dog.

What ensued was a series of tweets in which Semnani demonstrated her lack of knowledge of all things commode-related, with her Twitter friends following along:

  • “Remove ball cock from tank” what’s a ball cock and he he ball cock
  • You guys its asking me to do a “reverse threaded nut” im confused
  • So there is a “coupling nut” and I need a bucket because apparently there is water involved
  • Relatively certain 13 year olds have written these instructions

Some people chimed in with helpful (or not) advice. “Anyone know what a bowl gasket is?” Semnani asked at one point. “I think I smoke out of one occasionally,” replied one follower. “I want to gift you a plumber. I will pay extra for him to be handsome,” said Semnani’s colleague Meredith Shiner.

“Haven’t been thinking the drinking part through. As toilet is still broken,” Semnani tweeted halfway through the adventure. There were also some sexually suggestive tweets, such as a quote she pulled from the instructions. “‘Turn the lower shank hard in and out of the valve body #sexyplumbing,'” the tweet said.

Roughly two hours after she began, Semnani was done. “You guys!!! I did it!! I fixed the toilet all by myself!!!!!!” she wrote in a celebratory tweet. “Yayyyyyy.”

She confirmed to FBDC that Huckleberry was of no help.