Halbfinger does H’wood

halbfingerdavid_small.jpgThere’s nothing Hollywood loves quite so much as the prospect of deflowering a virgin. Enter the Times’ new replacement for recently retired Bernie Weinraub, David Halbfinger, who tells the Observer how excited he is to get started on his new beat – which he’ll share with Sharon Waxman.

Okay, David, time to do the (reality) checklist: You say you don’t want to be “loved,” but every studio executive will make you feel that way for the first 60 days. After that, consider yourself deflowered. And if you admired the “honesty” in Bernie’s (long) goodbye, there’s plenty more where that came from. Oh, and when you say you “actually like this kind of person – the movie person,” we know every agent along Wilshire Blvd. is getting ready to disabuse you of that notion. Prediction: Nikki Finke, who seems actively to loathe everyone, will do a “Halbfinger is for sale” piece or a “Halbfinger doesn’t get it” slam job within said 60 days.

Welcome to H’wood, Dave.

P.S.: Love the tie. Very Formosa.