Daily Caller Executive Editor David Martosko is healing nicely from his brief leave of absence and recent removal of a tumor that turned out to be benign. So much so that on Sunday he debuted an inaugural cigar column bearing the headline, “Cigar Hunter: A cheap Brazilian that won’t involve your girlfriend.” (Nice! He insults women and Brazilians in one sitting.)
He explains, “Some weeks I’ll be hunting for taste, and others for bargains — and occasionally for rare smokes and Washington, D.C. personalities to share them with in a city that frowns on tobacco.”
He took to his steamy Northern Virginia patio Saturday night to smoke and write the lengthy column. Judging from what he wrote, he may have been smoking something other than a cigar if you know what we mean. “Most of the flavor from a cigar hits your tongue in the very back, where you taste ‘bitter’ foods,” he writes. “This one tasted like coffee and leather — like the smell of a wet ball glove. But a third of the way through, the cigar changed character completely. Where there was once coffee, there is now — get this — chocolate.” As he took a few more
hits puffs, something else surfaced: “Two-thirds of the way through the smoke, the flavor profile changed again. This time I would swear I tasted s’mores. No joke. Take the dark chocolate and add a toasted marshmallow flavor. Truly bizarre and unexpected. It only lasted about a minute, and then it was gone.”
Martosko isn’t so chatty about his health. “I’m doing fine, but would prefer that my health remain a private matter,” he wrote in an email.
What we learned from column #1:
1. Martosko likes to refer to cigars as “torpedos.”
2. Attention authorities: He’s contemplating planting Cuban seeds in his backyard.
3. Martosko’s advice for “looking cool”: “After you cut the smoking end, hold a lit match (or a strip of cedar if you want to look cool) under the other end and warm it up before you put the stick in your mouth.”
4. Attention authorities: He recently, um, “acquired” a box of Cuban cigars from a parking attendant near his office.