And now it’s time, once more, to rant about advertising. First off, we must say that banking ads are inherently awful. Just terrible. Think about Fidelity Bank’s horrendous campaign with that stupid lion. Sure, there are notable exceptions, like Visa’s new campaign or Sedgwick Road’s spots for Washington Mutual. But they’re few and far between. The worst? MB Financial’s “Betsimpsier!” which is what you get when you cram together the words “Better,” “Simpler,” and…oh, who cares? It’s insultingly un-creative. Deliriously awful. Dastardly moronic. Whenever this writer sees anything related to that campaign, he cringes and must avert his eyes lest he go blind. But, much like Medusa, there was some solace in know that, if there’s only one of these evil creations out there, at least your chances of not running into them repeatedly are fairly high. Wrong. Snickers, by way of their new ad agency, TBWA\Chiat\Day, has just starting putting up billboards around the country with made up words as unflinchingly unoriginal as Betsimpsier. Things like “Noutatocity” and “Hungerectomy.” On the drive home yesterday, the one we saw had some mash-up between “Snickers” and “Satisfaction,” but we quickly pulled over and said the Rosary a hundred times in order to try and help us forget. We’re guessing it was “Snickerfaction.” That took us literally milliseconds to think up and write. This, dear reader, is why these campaigns are awful. And worse that it arrives while Betsimpsier still haunts the planet. We don’t blame the good people at the ad agency, whoever they may be, for we’ve all been there and we understand how many amazing ideas get shot down in favor of junk like this. But we’re angry none the less and we ask that you now please excuse us while we go find a way to string together the seven words you can’t say on television and start using that new word every time we see something like this.