Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful.

1. What did you think of CNN’s Candy Crowley in this week’s debate…and, should her weight be a topic of discussion online or anywhere?

It was about what I expected, and what she projected. She wanted to be a part of the show and she was. The most telling moment I found was when she said if she let Romney keep talking at one point she’d be “run out of town.” Romney was about to smack down Obama, and she saved him. And should her weight be an issue anywhere? No more than her opinions should’ve been. As it stands, the scales, so to speak, are about even.

2. Do you think David Corn’s career will be furthered by him getting the scoop on that 47 percent video?

The guy is writing for Mother Jones after working for legitimate outlets in the past, so in one respect, there’s nowhere to go but up. On the other hand, there’s a reason he’s now reduced to writing for Mother Jones and pushing a video that was more hype than substance, so I don’t expect a return to mattering for Mr. Corn. But, like his namesake you eat, he has a weird way of popping back up when you least expect it after going through a bunch of shit, so you never know.

Question #3: See Piranhamous’ radical advice for CNN… 3. Who specifically should CNN hire (or fire) to reinvigorate itself?

Everyone. Seriously, they should fire everyone and have someone outside their organization interview them that same day. They need to earn their jobs, if they can’t – bye. Honestly, it’s not difficult to convey whatever information you want in a way real people outside the Beltway and Manhattan and en masse want to consume, but people who don’t live or know anyone outside the Beltway and Manhattan will only stumble upon it by accident. You’d think that’d be less of an issue for something headquartered in Atlanta, but you’d be wrong. Geography is as much a state of mind as it is where your BMW’s GPS says you are.