The mind reels at the

The mind reels at the possibilities.

For Republicans, “Don’t let the ice caps hog all our water” would make a lot of friends, but bespeaks too small a vision. The Republicans are about so much more than making Kevin Costner’s dystopic fantasy, Waterworld, a reality. Similarly, “Pave the Mideast” and “Mandatory vasectomies for all registered Democrats,” though honest, seem too narrow.

There’s more to accomplish. Say, there’s an idea:

‘Mission Accomplishing!’

But why dwell on past successes? To the horizons!

For Lincoln’s party, the next election will turn not on key issues so much as on stoking paranoia and shitting on hippies.