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The Ad Guy Starter Kit, available online at adguystarterkit.com, is marketed Ronco style with an online commercial demonstrating how pitch abuse (“You call this creative?”) can be remedied—not for $1,000, not for $500, not even for $200, but for four easy payments of $24.95. The kit includes a “water-resistant dickie” and “your own soul patch, crafted of the finest Italian beaver hair” (which, as graphics demonstrate, emits “creativity” in four different directions), as well as horn-rim glasses that don’t just look sharp but actually cut tomatoes with ease.
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