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The news story that stayed alive for 32 years died a couple weeks ago when the guy who was named after a woman whose clitoris was misplaced in her pharynx decided to come clean. Mark Felt, long-retired FBI man whose pension apparently isn’t all that great, will shortly be headed for Oprah, Katie, Regis, Tony, Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, The View, 60 Minutes, Access Hollywood, a Top-10 list from Letterman and, it looks like, a made-for-TV movie.

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