Rahm Emanuel Pledges to Clean Up Chicago

By Bob Marshall 

While continuing the battle to prove his status as a Chicago resident, Chicago mayoral candidate Rahm Emanuel is beginning to run campaign ads in anticipation of the Feb. 22 election. Those from outside of Chicago might be wondering why a candidate whose legitimacy is still under debate is producing television commercials and acting like his name is already officially on the ballot. Well, that’s because it is in a sense.

(ed: The original Rahm ad we posted this morning was pulled. Here’s its replacement for the time being)


You see, Emanuel didn’t leave his job as White House Chief of Staff to lose a mayoral bid. When one of your most vigilant supporters is the President of the United States, you’re not going to lose. When Emanuel came back to Chicago to replace long-serving Mayor Richard M. Daley, he knew he had to repay a favor to get the former mayor’s support. Guess who recently replaced Emanuel as White House Chief of Staff? Mayor Daley’s brother, Bill Daley. This is Chicago, and this is why having a Windy City hero and former resident in the U.S. Presidency is so important.

As for the ad itself, Emanuel is already upping the number of cops he wants on the streets from 250 to 1,000. While the city is in dire need for more cops (especially with them getting shot all the time), many have accused past mayors of using the Chicago Police Department as hired mercenaries and enforcers of at times unpopular policies (sounds like a good idea for a television show). We also like the touch at the end of watching Emanuel help a tired kid read, because had this advertisement been based on reality, there would a lot more yelling on Rahm’s part. I guess it’s better to do political ads than harass morning commuters.