Since we are dangerously close to Christmas/Star Wars season, it’s time for one Maurice Levy to outdo everyone again with his holiday “card,” because nothing relieves the stress of completely restructuring your massive international holding company and determining who you’ll have to downsize to do so quite like making some funny clips.
The video is not embeddable, but we can summarize: first you need to watch the serious talk.
Maurice opens by telling us that “times are too tough to play around,” so viewers shouldn’t expect anything fun or fancy-free–and he knows you never really paid attention to him anyway because you were too distracted by his outrageous accent.
Most viewers will probably click the “Skip Maurice” option before the end of his nearly three-minute speech, but we persevered.
The best part about this card may be the fact that you have to skip ahead to get to the “ads” in the first place. The clips that follow cleverly feature Maurice giving the very same “2015 was tough but 2016 will be our year” speech as he CEO-bombs each of the fake shoots in an order that vaguely resembles an “I will survive”-style narrative.
First, Maurice tries to get the model to eat the yogurt and spills some on his nice white shirt, because shit happens. Accounts come, accounts go…
He then proceeds to wash that shirt while discussing Publicis’ fresh start for 2016.
Levy then pulls a transformation of sorts as he tells/begs critics and employees alike to have patience: the process of building a new and improved Publicis Groupe takes time, just like the process of growing a beautiful head of hair. Also, you’re worth it. (But who are “you” and what is “it?”)
Levy then assures us that he’s just as dedicated to tearing down silos as he is to maintaining good dental health, no matter what it takes.
You thought he was done, but as the video runs overtime he returns to wish everyone happy holidays and tell us once again that 2016 will be a lot better than this year was.
Levy’s most debatable claims: despite a bumpy 2015, Publicis did pretty well in “certain parts” of its business, and “the most difficult parts are behind us” as “we have set ourselves up for a promising future.”
We appreciate the man’s ability to make fun of himself, but if we didn’t know better we might conclude, after watching these “Skippable Wishes,” that he doesn’t really like the ads that his agencies make.
Here’s to fewer silos, fewer bozos and more consolidation in 2016!