John and Betty Can Kiss Our Collective, Pale Asses

By Matt Van Hoven 

Vanity Fair sent Betty and Don, er, John Hamm and January Jones (sexiest probably-fake name, ever?) to Nassau, the Bahamas for a photo shoot by recently be-poored photog Annie Leibovitz. F*ck everyone.

Don Draper is no longer the man of our time, despite not existing. A gent who has up until this point been a personal hero of sorts is now just pissing me off. Oh, boo hoo, you stole someone’s identity and created a new life for yourself where your career is ironically creating false emotions so people will buy your clients’ cancer causing, orgasm inducing products.

OK that’s done. The Vanity Fair piece accompanying this shoot is long. Those of you with time to spare, click here. The rest of you can go back to hating the idea of Don Draper’s life, while simultaneously loving the show that will save us all on August 18th. Unless it sucks, for some reason.More: “New York’s Geared up for Madmen