Craigslist Ad of the Day: Delusional Finance Guy Asks for What All Men Want, Live-in Eye Candy

By Matt Van Hoven 

In the world of “you can’t make this stuff up” comes a craigslist ad that was probably made up. Keith is a successful finance guy who lives in the dirty-glitzy St. Mark’s area of New York. He leads such a busy life that all he really wants is some tits and ass for a roommate. You know, a nice attractive girl who doesn’t mind walking around in her underwear for him.

What’s she get? Rent for $130 and a “good looking” roommate named Keith. His most enticing line of copy: “WHY WOULD A GUY AS GOOD LOOKING AS YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS”. We all have our reasons…..Thanks.”

No, thank you, Keith. Read the full ad, after the jump.

More: “Craigslist Ad of the Day: Poleriders, Poledancing on a Bike


$130 For an open minded woman this is a great offer (East Village)

Many of you who read this ad are going to find it very offensive. Please understand that while this offer might not work for you, there are people out there in this world that have different levels of comfort with certain ideas that might be offensive to the majority of the population.

I got this idea from an article in Time Out New York that I read a while ago. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment that I inherited and now own. I live alone in the East Village, and have an empty bedroom and a lot of space. I am offering the empty room w/private bathroom for only $130 a month. Here is the catch…of course there is a catch. I’m a white late 20’s guy that works in finance. I work A LOT and therefore my social life has become nonexistent. So, I want to add a little bit of excitement to my life. I would like to rent the room to a woman between the age of 18-27.

You should be a free spirited, liberal minded person who is very open minded. I would like you to be a slim attractive girl who is OK with occasionally walking around or hanging out in her underwear <—yes…that would be the slightly crazy part.

I would never ask you to strip or do anything at all. You must be someone who occasionally walks around like that and is ok with me being around when you do. I know this is a strange arrangement, but like I said earlier, I am trying to add some exitement to my life:) I am not looking for anything to develop into a relationship, or to have you start acting like a girlfriend. If you are interested, send me an email so I can discuss it further with you. There is no sexual contact or anything involved. I WOULD NEED THE ARRANGEMENT TO BE 100% CONFIDENTIAL. I know that it makes no sense to put my pic on here if I want it to be confidential, but I figured it was a necessary risk to take if I wanted solid responses. If you are interested please send me your pic. It does not have to be a provocative pic. But a body pic would help.

The apartment is huge-near St Marks. The kitchen is big…very bright living area. The room for rent is very big too AND HAS ITS OWN BATHROOM. I don't need the money which is why I am able to do this. The $130 is just a nice round number I came up with. PLEASE do NOT respond by saying "WHY WOULD A GUY AS GOOD LOOKING AS YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS". We all have our reasons…..Thanks
-Keith

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