Advertisers Who Ignore Google Are Straight-Up Morons

By Matt Van Hoven 

Google’s domination of the ad market has for some time now been worth paying attention to. Short of creative, they have a lot of the field covered &#151 and they’re inventing new ways to advertise all the time. Among the tactics you’ve probably toyed with, SEO is probably one you despise &#151 despite the fact that it “games” Google the same way you bamboozle people into buying your clients’ wares: by giving consumers/Google’s servers what they/it want(s). People want to be entertained, Google wants sexy keywords, phrases, and a constant attention.

After the jump is the best defense for using Google &#151 just on a day-to-day-basis &#151 we’ve seen yet. It’s short and to the point, and comes from the SEO man himself, Tribble Ad Agency blog’s Roger Wehbe. It’s pasted after the jump, in convenient open letter format.

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Dear Mr. XXXXX,

I wanted to say thank you for your pitch. The part in focus that I wanted to discuss was where you said “Google and search is not everything”.

I understand your viewpoint, and I would like to discuss this further. When you have a chance could you call my google voice number. I have that number forwarded to my Google Android powered cell phone … while on the topic, I loved the idea of the app you discussed. Just make sure it runs on my Droid.

When you send over the document, I will make the edits in Google docs and make sure to run the media plan you sent over though Google Ad planner to double check the suggestions.

Regarding the commercial you presented to us, I need to send that to a few people here for discussion. If you could upload that to Google owned Youtube that would be great, just make sure to limit who can see it.

Regarding the billboard placements, that was a wonderful idea. Send me the locations so I can check them on Google Maps via street view to make sure it’s where we want them.

I really liked the beta webdesign you showed us, can you make sure that it renders properly in Google Chrome? When designing the site, don’t do it all in flash and make sure that it has unique titles and metas. I want to make sure we rank organically for our terms in Google. I agree with you that Google Analytics is the right way to measure the traffic and ROI from the campaign.

Also the discussion we had regarding mentions of our company in the press? We do feel that Google Alerts would do the job for us regarding that. As of course the press releases you send out will be in Google News.

You know, the more I think about this, the more I feel that perhaps I don’t want your advertising agency running the campaign. Perhaps we should hire an SEO firm for this.

Best Regards,