When FIFA Is More Than A Name. Or Maybe Just A Name.

By Noah Davis 

If FIFA wanted to improve its legacy by giving the World Cup to Qatar, they certainly succeeded.

“My husband Nayef Al Shimmari and I decided six months ago to name our daughter Dana,” a mother told a Qatari newspaper. “But last Thursday and when I was in labour I heard that Qatar was picked ahead of many other countries to host the World Cup finals, so my husband and I decided to name her Fifa. We saw that Qataris were truly overjoyed with the historic award and we wanted to contribute to the celebrations in our own way.”

The couple’s two-year-old son is named IOC.

In other soccer media news, Russell Brand will star in a movie “as a veteran alcoholic British player who moves to Texas and causes havoc in the untitled movie.” Think Eastbound and Down meets The Damn United.