Two months ago, Marvel inadvertently showed Peter Parker’s penis in the first issue of the mini-series Spider-Man: Reign. They were able to fix that by retouching the artwork, but reviewer Graeme McMillan has pointed out an even bigger problem with issue #3: According to the storyline, set several years in the future, Peter is responsible for killing Mary Jane (they’ve been married in the comics for years) because…well, the dialogue really can’t be missed: “The doctors didn’t understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was… I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me… loving me… Loving me killed you!”
Butcher nails the appropriate response: “Seriously, Marvel, WHAT THE F—? At what point did Spider-Man having radioactive sperm ever seem like a good idea?” I mean, you might be able to convince yourself that Spidey could be talking about his sweat rubbing off on MJ, but not after he goes on to berate himself: “Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer… I killed you.” That’s just dumb. “Does anyone, at all, ever, say no about anything at Marvel anymore?” asks Brad Curran, and he’s got a point. Even going by Spider-Man’s lifelong pattern of self-recrimination and guilt, is this really where you want to take the character?