…and anecdotal evidence suggests that, commercial performance aside, a bunch of you do, well, you should see the projects that Sharlene Martin refused to take on. And you can, because her corporate bio page currently includes scans from “Query Madness,” an article she wrote for the latest issue of Writer’s Digest that includes samples from some of the many letters from would-be authors that didn’t win her over. “My book rocks. You should thank me for even taking the time to let you drool over it,” runs one pitch; another tries the gentle approach: “I have an outline but not here in this memo. I wanted us to get a feel for one another.”
My favorite? “Nobody wants to hear of new authors,” complains one querent. “Also, to my surprise, the endeavor of the American Government to create a ‘new mankind’ seems to have reached its goal.” Oh, wait: That isn’t a whacked-out conspiracy theory, just a guy who was told by the agent he wrote to before Martin that “my English is to [sic] ‘British,’ that my sentences are too long and winded, and therefore the American reader won’t be very happy.”