The Next King of Advertising is (So Far) STD Free

By Matt Van Hoven 

The Daily Intel can be thanked for publishing the diatribe of a young advertising woman who in the span of five days noted how underpaid she was and had sex four times. Advertising is porn without the cameras with some of the money. Oh, not counting the agencies that have filming equipment. A blurb:

12:30 p.m.: Having sex with Euro Guy.
12:50 p.m.: Briefly recall once calling his penis weird-looking while drunk. It has a strange curve to it. He finishes; I do not.

Also she drinks bourbon and masturbated twice and learned she is STD free. Let this be a reminder that your life doesn’t have to end up this way but you should probably schedule an appointment. And not at the free clinic sister/brother &#151 somewhere legit. Also Don Draper is now a female.


Who is Euro guy? Is he a European guy or a Euro RSCG guy? This is the most important question of the day. Also the mutual friend Ben should know what’s up. It’s always fucked up to be the one guy who doesn’t know two people in the room are banging. It’s just weird because now that guy looks like a schmuck. Way to go ad girl and Euro guy. Also, thanks for the entertainements.

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