Spotify Will Fail, Says Sarcasticy Sattirist Loren Feldman

By Matt Van Hoven 

Spotify is one of a few top tier streaming music tools you can use to listen to your favorite tunes, for free. Though not available in the US, it’s slated to land here before long and compete with Pandora, Groove Shark and pretty much all the sites you see here.

And Loren Feldman f*cking hates the very idea of it. Because, you know, music is a part of your life and therefore you must own it. You know how it goes: you and your girl break up or whatever man and then there’s this argument about the CD collection or maybe the records. Also, no one wants to listen to new bands from foreign countries. No one likes French horn.

So anyway you’re drivin’ home after you break up with your girl and you want to listen to some Communication Breakdown. F*ck man, now you’re pissed tho because that shit isn’t on Spotify.

Now, reasons Spotify/streaming radio probably will work: free music always wins. Examples &#151 terrestrial radio, coffee shops, dudes playing guitar on the subway. Whatever.

h/t to @iboy

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