New Miller Lite ‘Punch Top Can’ Makes Shotgunning Beers a Little Easier

By Bob Marshall 

A new series of TV spots from DraftFCB Chicago is marketing Miller Lite’s latest innovation in beer-chugging apparatus accoutrements, the “Punch Top Can.”

Now, it’s only been two years since the brand unveiled the “Vortex Bottle,” a seemingly useless and unnecessary bottle design feature that has somehow lasted 23 months longer than anyone expected. Undoubtedly, the success of the swirly bottle neck has influenced the powers that be at Miller Lite to carry over their brand of “science” to cans. I can only imagine what the supporting market research looks like: “In our study, seven out of 10 brospondants said that when they shotgun cans of cheap beer to the amusement and horror of their friends, they opt for Miller Lite. Of those that answered positively, four out of five said that they have been wounded by the jagged aluminum the occurs in the wake of puncturing the can with their car keys, which reportedly ‘hurts like a bitch.'”


DraftFCB’s spots depict a horde of 20-somethings in a variety of environments using any and every poking object in their immediate vicinity to punch the new aluminum flap on the top of the can. Yes, you can use just about anything, be it a drumstick, an audio cable, or that douchey arrowhead necklace your burnout buddy has been wearing since he was in middle school. Sure, the “Punch Top Can” will make chugging a little easier, but isn’t most of the fun of shotgunning beer derived from the associated theatrics? If you’re not spraying everyone within three-foot radius upon stabbing the side of a can, how can a game of truth or dare adequately segue into an impromptu foam party?