Jessica Simpson Uses Left Breast to Sell New Beer

By Matt Van Hoven 

Our friend Paco was kind enough to share the poster below with us. It’s for Stampede Light beer, a brew that’s 15 percent owned by the Christian-singer-gone-popstar-gone-tv/mediamaven-gone-crappy-country-hack Jessica Simpson. Phew.

According to the AP, Simpson has also signed a deal that makes her the beer’s spokeswhore. But if she’s a 15 percent owner, doesn’t that mean she’s paying 15 percent of her own salary? We’ll never know, since details of the deal weren’t made public.

However, Simpson’s left breast was, as can be seen in the poster. The beer, which is being marketed to “active” imbibers, is brewed by Dallas based Stampede Brewing Co. Maybe now Simpson can finally be a real cowgirl? No, no she can’t.