Doner L.A. Wants You to Buy Shit for Their New Office

By Erik Oster 

With Doner moving into a new Los Angeles office, the agency has plenty of furnishing to do, and they’d like you to front the bill.

Doner L.A. took to MyRegistry.com to release an “Office Warming Party Wish List.” As the agency explains in a press release: “Aw, you don’t need to get us gifts. No, really. Ooookay fine. Since you insist, here’s our office-warming registry. Buy us things!”

“Doner L.A. is a fully integrated, modern agency,” evp/managing director Zihla Salinas told AdFreak, “and not because the name sounds so cool but because the ever-evolving landscape of advertising requires it. We collaborate as a team, not as departments, to deliver breakthrough creative solutions.”

That’s nice, but it doesn’t explain why the agency needs a $100,000 “long-term” private chef or $50,000 in-house massage therapist.

As the announcement follows MUH-TAY-ZIK | HOF-FER’s own registry for its fifth anniversary, let’s compare agency wish lists…

Among the more ridiculous items on Doner’s list (aside from the aforementioned chef and massage therapist) are: a Cannes Grand Prix Lion for $1 million (doesn’t mean anything if you didn’t win it, guys), a stuffed actual lion for $9,500, an espionage drone for spying on the competition, a 1932 Rolls-Royce Phantom II, an 8×10 autograpged photo of Janet Reno, a $3,200 Gucci Heritage Smoking Jacket, $7,360 in Baccarat table accessories (!?), slingshot complete with ammo, 22 carat gold toilet paper, $1,800,000 Goût de Diamants Champagne and  Cannabis Quencher — Mango as a “creative enhancer” and office pets including a Siberian Husky puppy,a 20-pack of mixed-breed ducklings and a collection of Black Phantom Delta Guppy Livebearers (they swear they’ll take really, really good care of them). 

MUH-TAY-ZIK | HOF-FER’s registry seems to have been a bit more realistic, meanwhile, with an original Andy Warhol painting priced at $105,000 as the most expensive item. That’s not to say the agency’s list didn’t include some quirky items of its own, such as a Metronap Energy Pod, psychic readings, earthquake survival kit and fuchsia deer head. The two agencies had at least one item in common, as MUH-TAY-ZIK | HOF-FER is also hankering for a drone of their own.

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