No, no they didn’t. But being the paranoid type, it’s the first thing we thought when the story of the fallen Basking shark broke yesterday. Uh, this is not a part of shark week, it’s just a dead shark. But wouldn’t it be a better story if they found a dead shark or something and floated it ashore? Conspiracy!
Think about it: Discovery knows all kinds of shark people and it’s possible that one of them is a hunter or knows how to asphyxiate a shark and said, “hell yeah I’ll kill a shark in the name of advertising.” Or maybe some former shark scientist’s lover was somehow slain by a great white but the nerd was a big wimp and rather than take his revenge on a legit shark he went after the poor, apparently harmless basking shark — an animal that can open its mouth almost as far as Courtney Love. Wide.
We e-mailed Mike Monello at Campfire to ask about our theory. And no, Discovery did not kill a shark. But they did kill Johnny Wright and some other bloggers.
Still, a shark on Long island? Discovery couldn’t pray to Poseidon (ocean god joke!) and hope for a better thing to happen. And of course now everyone will be especially pissed if there’s no basking shark segment. To the cutting room!
Update: The sharky coincidences continue in Washington D.C. where the nation’s shark-attack victims are coming together to party, with their remaining limbs. And, the whales are watching you.
More: “Frenzied Waters: A Campaign For Your Gruesome Sharky Death”