Bullsh*t Baffles Brains: Bud.TV’s Exit Interview is Laughable

By Matt Van Hoven 

When shoveling bullshit, one’s efforts are best aided by PR representatives and marketing vps like Anheuser-Busch’s Keith Levy. People like Levy are just full of poopy-excuses for why something didn’t work, what consumers really wanted all along and how spending millions on a project that failed is no biggie, cuz we learned some things! As the saying goes, “bullsh*t baffles brains” and right below we’ve posted some of it from today’s AdAge story about the demise of Bud.TV. Jonah, please don’t e-mail me &#151 I don’t care. Or do, and let’s grab that beer.

And yes, these are taken out of context so be sure and read the article in full (but even in context they’re pretty lame).

&#151 “(the project) was simply too large an undertaking for a brewer to handle, Mr. Levy said. ‘If the networks can’t continuously produce that [volume of content], how can a beer company?’ he said.”
>Our thought: this only occurred to you now? But you could have spent the money developing Bud Banana, for the penis-shaped fruit loving beer drinker!

&#151 “A-B executives at the time publicly said they hoped the site would draw upward of 2 million unique visitors a month to view a mix of original, unbranded humor, sports and reality programming.”
>Our thought: unbranded humor is still branded if it’s on a site paid for by a brand. God, this must be how Louis Black feels.

&#151 “Mr. Levy said the $15 million A-B spent in getting the site up and running was not wasted, however, because the company learned some key lessons about marketing online in the process.”
>Our thought: Oh, but you see it was wasted, all $15 million of it. A-B already admitted that the challenge was similar to that of network/cable TV &#151 they knew the challenges, but presumably had some magic gnome that poops hilarious sketches. Well, Tina Fey works for NBC. Next time, look at what’s been happening in that realm first and then jump on a grenade. Death is always funny.

&#151 “Consumers are interested in branded messages they can’t find elsewhere, and are eager to share what they find. ‘Consumers want branding, and if you tell them a story they don’t see on television, they’re receptive to that,’ (Levy) said.”
>Our thought: Consumers want branding? Please pull your heads out of your asses. We, the people, want to laugh. That’s all we ever wanted from the Web &#151 well, at least that’s what the part of us that wants to waste time on the Web wants. It’s not about exclusivity, it’s about chuckling for 10 seconds because immediately after we have to go back to whatever important thing we were doing before. Oy!

Overall this piece is baffling. Why do we care that Bud.TV is dead? Why do they want to be so transparent about it? If every branded Web site that falls on its face gets a homepage story on AdAge, it’s going to be a boring year. Why did this story only hear from Levy &#151 wake the hell up man, someone must have something to say about the failure of this $15 million project, especially considering Adidas just announced they’re doing basically the same thing. C’mon, wake up.

More: “George Lois on the AdAge of Old

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