Agency Execs Are Terrible Social Profile Writers

By Matt Van Hoven 

Advertising people in high places are terrible at &#151 how do I put this &#151 not being assholes on the internet. This is a hard and fast rule. Today we bring you the LinkedIn profile (news!) of Randy Browning, recently defrocked chairman and CEO of Publicis in the West. Depending on who you talk to, reports vary as to how long he’s been out as head-honcho of Publicis in the West. But according to his profile, he’s still in charge! I’ve added a few notes in itals to note where he erred.

Randy is a true internationalist (just say “well traveled” &#151 it’s less assholey) , having lived in the Congo, France, Holland, the UK, the United States, Jamaica, Morocco and Hong Kong (here in the US, the US is not considered “international”). Randy graduated with a master’s degree in social anthropology from St. Andrews University, Scotland. As a social anthropologist, Randy is passionate about truly understanding the holistic view of people and how to influence them (what the fuck is the “holistic view of people”? I don’t care, this is stupid), and thus serves as a great leader in our industry. Randy is unique among agency CEOs for his relentless passion for the creative product in all its forms (actually, that’s the opposite of unique, it’s the saaaaame stuff top dogs barf out all day, like so many soiled knickers). Maybe his passion stems from his years at creative agencies like Riney, Mullen and Wieden, or maybe it comes from his vision of taking creativity to the next level to impact business (or maybe it comes from his anus). But it is easy to pin his relentless drive to his rowing career, where he won gold at the USA Olympic Festival (point, Browning). Today, he has traded his rowing shell for a sailboat, and when time permits, he can be found sailing the Puget Sound with his British wife and two small children (British wife? Sailboat? How is this relevant? Fucking rich people).

Editor’s Note: Let me reiterate something here. If you run an agency or are near the top of one or, you know what, if you have a social media profile &#151 the first rule is you must write in the first person. LinkedIn is a social networking site and social networking is about one-to-one relationships. So when you have someone else write your profile or you write it yourself in the third person you look like an asshole. The internet is not St. Andrew’s