We Are Living in a Badly-Written Novel

By Jason Boog Comment

Like Alaska watchdogging Russia, GalleyCat readers are tirelessly patrolling the literary frontiers of political discourse for mixed metaphors. Over the weekend, a few readers wrote in with examples of muddled symbolism ripped from the headlines of the Zeitgeist.

An alert reader from Manic D Press caught this in a recent speech from Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger: “…let’s fix the budget problem once and for all. Let’s not kick that can down the alley and let someone else be responsible for it.”

Novelist Ed Park singled out this chilling quote from The New York Times: “Representative Darrell Issa, a Republican, said he was ‘resolute’ in his opposition to the measure because it would betray party principles and amount to ‘a coffin on top of Ronald Reagan’s coffin.'”

Another alert reader spotted this on an episode of Heroes: “It was like a long night after a bad taco.” And, as that above clip shows, Saturday Night Live had fun with Sarah Palin’s metaphorical gymnastics, as Tina Fey delivered a thicket of competing imagery: “We’re gonna promote freedom, usher in Democratic values and ideals and fight terror-loving-terrorists.”

Keep emailing your favorite crazed metaphors. Soon we will have conclusive proof that we are all characters in a pulp fiction novel being typed by monkeys.