Ballpoint Pen Fan Fiction

By Jason Boog Comment

In the Amazon UK customer reviews section for Bic’s “For Her” Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen, readers poked fun at the idea of pens designed for women–creating some brilliant ballpoint pen fan fiction in the process.

io9 first spotted the hilarious customer reviews, many of them written about fictional misuse of the pink or purple pens. Here is our favorite:

Things were a bit better when I left school to go and work sweeping up hair at the local salon – yet again, the broom seemed to just fit into my grip as if it was meant to be there – and I saved up to buy a pink laptop. I still had trouble writing for a long time because, although the case was pink, the keys weren’t designed for female eyes which, as we all know, struggle to discern between shades of black and grey. I could write for about 4 minutes at a time, though, and that’s how I found out about these wonderful pens for girls like me.

As soon as they arrived, I was soothed by the pink packaging – I’d been feeling stressed after driving back from work because my hands just won’t stay on the black, leather-effect steering wheel in my cute mini. Anyway, I quickly found a piece of notepaper with pictures of kittens round the edges and had a go at writing my name. It was amazing! The pen just stayed in place between my fingers, just like it always had for the boys in my class at school. Well, in no time I’d filled a whole notepad and had to go and get another one! Now I’ve gone back to night school and hope to realise my ambition of enrolling on a childcare course next year. I’m also halfway through writing an erotic novel set in Victorian times – but with vampires!

If you want to share your real thoughts about ink pens, check out our What Is Your Favorite Kind of Pen? post.