This week sucked. What follows is a scraping together of internet goodness that represents *the worst* video round-up we’ve done to date. And in that way, it is the best. The clips are compelling, certainly worth watching, but ad related? Nuh uh. Further proof that the best things in life are not ads. Wait, did we need proof of that? No. We do need Jack McBrayer and Triumph. We do need toddlers to drink root beer and stop motion. And Bill Murray. And the guy who berates you while you punch the bag. Enjoy, then get out early. Beers at the (insert bar name here) are compulsory on a day like today – and hell, with the football game on, you may be able to get away with an early exit.
6. Ever been to the Wiener Circle in Chicago? It’s like going to any restaurant in NYC – meaning everyone’s rude to you and calls you a bitch. At WC, getting berated is a thing, like that time you went to Paddles thinking it was some kind of cabaret. Conan O’Brien, who’s shooting from Chicity this week, sent Jack McBrayer and Triumph the Insult Dog to show the hot dogs what’s up.
5. Following Mayor Bloomberg’s giant soda debacle, this clip of a toddler taking his first sips of root beer (ITS NON-ALCOHOLIC YOU NUMBSKULLS) is priceless, and somewhat indicative of the power of sugar. Watch as this small child becomes addicted right in front of your eyes! And it’s cute, so there’s that.
4. Bars! They’re the creative centers of the universe, or something. Next time you’re in one, “ideating”, use these tricks to con your friends out of their lazily earned money.
3. Paper! It’s magical. In this stop motion film, it actually is magical. Because that’s the magic of movies. Movie magic, if you will. Fine, you caught me, I have nothing interesting to say about this film. But it is short and awesome.
2. Bill Fucking Murray. Am I right? He’s always doing things that keep his “brand” in tact. If this was 1919, we’d throw him into the loony bin. But not in this new era of crazy bullshit. No, not now. Now, we love the cray. We relish that shit. We put beans on it. We light it up and smoke it, and then play 36 holes on it. Go Bill, we salute you. Cubs win!
1. Friggin Wall Street bitches. After a long 17 hour day they think they can come up in (a boxing gym) and be all manly. Except no, they can’t. What they can do is go to hell, and this trainer will lead them – with expletives and more “berations” than you can shake a schtick at.