Utilizing pitch-perfect voice-over, the ad begins by declaring that “the most iconic monuments seem to be those that stand the test of time.” It isn’t until about twenty seconds into video that the object of the ad is revealed: a used 1996 Nissan Maxima GLE. The ad then begins touting the vehicle’s features, bragging that the Maxima is “fully loaded with an engine, wheels, tires, and an automatic transmission: a thrilling combination that has lasted over a decade.” The Maxima can “guarantee that it will get you from point A to B — most of the time.” The video manages to be simultaneously a perfect satire of the typical, ridiculous luxury car ad and an ode to shitty used cars.
If you’re interested in purchasing the vehicle (and who wouldn’t be after a sales pitch like that?), it appears to still be available, as Aker’s Craigslist ad is still up. On Craigslist, Aker mentions a few extra features, such as “steering fluid that has been designed to leak out from underneath the car when it has been exhausted from the majestic work that it has done.” He’s asking for $900, or best offer. That’s right: this majestic ride that is “as smooth as a Pegasus’ backside” can be yours for under one grand. What a steal.