Blind Item: The Dreaded Drug Test

By Patrick Coffee Comment

don't let the door hit you on the way out

If you’re hungry for a bit of dirt, this classic from the Blind Item file contains some facts about a certain mid-sized agency owned by a certain major holding company in a certain city that may or may not be New York. The agency:

  • Compiles “dossiers” on the bad behavior of its own executives
  • Uses random drug tests to get rid of unwanted employees (if they refuse to take the test, the axe falls)
  • Gets rid of “disappeared” victims by cleaning out their offices in the middle of the workday with no warning to co-workers
  • Has far more than your usual share of paranoia, backstabbing and tests of loyalty to top leaders

There’s more.

This agency also:

  • Forced one top executive to go to rehab
  • Sent AgencySpy anonymous tips from within its own office about the very same executive in an attempt to air his/her dirty laundry in public
  • Hosts shouting matches in which execs refer to each other using “the R word”
  • Sends executives news about the pending promotion/replacement of other executives without letting the affected parties know
  • Never announces negative news internally…until journalists start calling

While we can’t specify who this news concerns, we can confirm that it is all 100 percent accurate.

So who is it?

(Since you asked, “the R word” would be “retard.”)