Paris Is Free: Day In The Life Of Cable News

By Brian 

10:36am, MSNBC: Chris Jansing asks the Village Voice’s Michael Musto: “You know everything there is to know about Paris Hilton. Does she have a medical condition?” “Yeah, she’s crazy,” he says…

11:01am, FNC: Co-host E.D. Hill: “It is a great day in America if your name is Paris Hilton or you are an illegal alien. Today, we’ll tell you why…”

11:56am, CNN: Immediately following an interview with General David Petraeus about Iraq, Heidi Collins says: “Well you know, we’ll always have Paris, but she won’t always have a cell…”

12:08pm, MSNBC: The cabler reveals an animation titled “Paris Hilton Free,” complete with a bark from her dog Tinkerbell. “Paris Hilton’s long, grueling ordeal behind bars has come to an end,” Lisa Daniels mocks…

12:10pm, FNC: Jon Scott‘s attempt to transition from the G8 to Hollywood: “While the president is in Germany, the world’s attention is focused on Paris — Paris Hilton…”

12:22pm, CNN International: “These are live pictures from our affiliate KTLA, helicopter pictures of the home of Paris Hilton… We’re watching that home. Lots of cars down there.” Co-anchor Stephen Frazier transitions: “Let’s turn now to Harvard…”

12:44pm, MSNBC: “It’s good to be rich and famous in America,” legal analyst Susan Filan concludes. “It is; I wish I was both,” Lisa Daniels responds…

1:38pm, FNC: “This was not a good punishment for her,” a Live Desk panelist says. “The real punishment for Paris Hilton, I think, would be that the media gives her no coverage at all… That would be cruel and unusual punishment for her…”

1:54pm, CNN:: Kyra Phillips asks a guest: “Are we just so pathetic and so lonely that we have to live life through people like Paris Hilton?…”

2:25pm, MSNBC: After talking about immigration, Contessa Brewer asks political analyst Pat Buchanan: “I have got to ask you, is it fair that Paris Hilton is under house arrest?…”

4:09pm, FNC: Neil Cavuto jokes: “Do you know if Paris sold stock today?” “I don’t know if she knows what stock is,” his guest responds…

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